Let me tell you my story and we’ll get to the subject of this topic afterwards…
At 12 years old I started changing inside and was drawn to the alternative lifestyle. I have always been introverted, and developed an anxiety disorder, which hadn’t been diagnosed yet. It all began with the band The Cure, and I started listening to all kinds of alternative music that you could dance to. I began dressing in black and I cut my hair short on one side that gradually got longer around the back of my head to really long bangs that hung down over one eye, and I started hanging out in the alternative dance clubs where they played bands like Depeche Mode, New Order, etc. I met a whole new crowd of friends, and left the old ones behind.
After about a year of changing my persona and slowly drifting towards the darker alternative side of life, I was officially part of “the underground scene”. After awhile, I started to steer more towards the hardcore punk scene. I liked the punk look better, and I loved the punk boys! The music took a little getting used to so I listed to a mixture of alternative music and punk music like the bands I mentioned before, and now The Cramps, Minor Threat, GBH, The Exploited, The Adicts, etc.
After a few years in the scene, I felt myself changing inside again. I was drawn to a more chill laid back kind of lifestyle and the freedom of the hippy lifestyle. I decided I wanted to get lost in a care-free world where no one judged me, and everything was happy go lucky. So I started my long strange trip into the world of acid, rainbow children, and The Grateful Dead. I listened to The Doors, Janis Joplin, Pink Floyd, etc., but that didn’t last too long. I was too much of an introvert, and somewhat of an asshole, to let go of all my fears and fully join the hippy culture.
But I wasn’t quite ready to go back to my punk friends or the punk scene, because I had discovered heavy metal music, skin tight zip-around jeans, and long feathered hair. I began listening to Metallica (before the black album), Slayer, Judas Priest, etc. and I loved the long haired boys! I was probably close to 17 then. In the metal scene I could let out my anger, get lost in the music, and party all night and sleep all day.
But after a few years of that, I missed my punk rock roots. I had baby now, and I was married to an ex con peckerwood, and I was, well…lost. I loved my baby, and my husband, but I didn’t like who I was. I needed to get back to my roots of punk rock, and so my journey began...I scored on a pair of T.U.K. mondo creepers in black with white tops at a thrift shop, slid my feet down inside, traded my skin tight zip-arounds for skin tight red plaid skinny jeans, my Slayer tee for a Cramps tee, and I was back.
Now, I am 35 years old, and a widow with one child. I've tried on many "shells" throughout my life, and through it all I've kept a little of everything inside. I listen to punk rock, I dress mostly punk and sometimes psychobilly, I have emo hair, snakebite piercings and one dimple piercing, I’m pretty much tattooed all over, but, all in all, one thing has always stayed the same and that is I’m an introvert and I have an anxiety disorder. I used to fight a lot due to this, but now I just try to avoid situations that make me angry. So I spend most my time in my home with my boyfriend, who is also an old school punk, and my daughter (who is starting to dress scene now and I just gave her the coolest little scene haircut). My boyfriend and I go out sometimes to a punk show and hang towards the back, or drop by and visit friends in calmer atmospheres, and I enjoy every minute of it.
So back to my question, and the title of this post: Who are you? Punk, rockabilly, psychobilly, mod, goth, emo, scene, skinhead, rocker? Does the label really matter? At 35 years of age, I think what matters most is that you are who you are and that you allow yourself to express it no matter what anyone else thinks. We have one life, and don’t be ashamed of the things you like, or the way you want to dress. It’s up to you. Nobody can call you a poser if your living your life the way you want to. You’re only a poser if you live your life the way someone else tells you to. Be true to yourself and remember you are who you are whether anybody else likes it!
You can see photos of how I look today in the photograph section one step above the Articles section.
Written on 8/09/10 by Lindsay Dominguez-owner of Retro Kitten Apparel, a Retro, Rockabilly, Vintage, Pin-up and Punk Second Hand Clothing Store.
Posts
